Dyani Ramos

English 101

Holly Pappas

Text Wrestling

 

In ‘All Joy and No Fun’ Jennifer Senior expresses why parents despise parenting.  Senior used some good details describing her views on the difficulties of parenting. I believe her target audience was a broad range of adults, adults who are parents and adults who aren’t.  As awful as it sounds it’s true. I disagreed with the article instantly as I read the title. I had plenty of arguments against not ‘hating parenting’ but as I read further I began to agree.  I would even say Senior made some good arguments but she could have elaborated more on parent duties and struggles in the article.  We as parents have substantive responsibilities that can cause major stress.  Not only are we responsible for maintaining health and dental insurance, taking after our children 24/7. We feed them, cloth them,  deal with daily tantrums and behavioral issues and much more. Being a parent is a full time job. After reading I had a clearer understanding about what she meant about parents ‘hating’ parenting.

The introduction to the article starts off happily like a fairytale describing the excitement Senior’s two year old son had when he saw her arriving home. He was ecstatic she described him as ‘barreling’ down the street to greet her. Senior was so happy to get this reaction from him as I believe all moms are after a long day. Shortly after they arrive home her son throws a fit when she can’t reconstruct his toy quick enough. Out of frustration he threw his toy as well as hit Senior. Children’s moods change so quickly they are excited one moment and utterly frustrated the next.  They resemble the ups and downs, twists and turns of a rollercoaster.

 

I can relate to these toddler tantrums, like Senior I have a two year old son and deal with similar ups and downs. Just last week when I arrived to pick up my son from day care he was elated to see me. He ran over to me like he was sprinting in a track meet he screamed ‘mommy mommy’ in his giddy toddler boy voice. This I love as Senior did! When we arrived home he wanted to use the iPad and was instantly frustrated the second he couldn’t unlock it throwing it across the room and breaking down into a tantrum. Although the tantrum was difficult the fulfillment I received when I arrived to get him at day care ten minutes earlier pushed me through the tantrum.

Senior relates to data from psychologists and their studies on parenting. Data proved that parents are less happy than people without children. The author gives examples of parent relationship struggles. It describes the fights we go through over simple things like homework. Senior also describes a clip from a study of 1,540 hours of middle class families ‘The intention of this study was in no way to make the case that parents were unhappy. But one of the postdoctoral fellows who worked on it, himself a father of two, nevertheless described the video data in the Times as “the very purest form of birth control ever devised. Ever.”. I found this quote hilarious. If me an my family were filmed I’m sure people would second guess having kids. Not everyone can realize how much the good times out weigh the bad if they are in the middle of a tough situation like prehaps a toddler tantrum.

Not only does parenting change yourself as a person but it’s also detrimental to a relationship. Parents use so much energy on their children they become tired. The stress of parenting makes us short tempered and demanding of our spouses. According to an article on Kids Health  ‘Sometimes new dads get jealous because the baby takes up so much of mom’s time’ we can’t help but devoting so much time to our children but it’s clear our partner suffers. I have found myself becoming more of a demanding person as Senior suggests typically happens after becoming a mother.

“Yet it’s something most of us choose. Indeed, it’s something most of us would say we’d be miserable without” Senior.

I misunderstood this quote the first couple of times I read the article I assumed Senior was describing drinking and not actually being a parent. After rereading the article aloud it’s clear to see Senior is describing being a parent. Most adults do in fact choose to have children even though we are aware of the stress it will bring us. The fulfillment being a parent can bring you is like no other feeling. A large percent of people like feeling accomplished after working hard for something. Like a job for instance after working hard on a task at work the pride you receive after your boss praising you for the task is great. I believe the love, patience, and happiness of having children do in fact outweigh the hard times with our kids. The good times are pure bliss.

 

Jennifer Senior New York Times All Joy and No Fun link:

http://nymag.com/news/features/67024/index2.html

Kids Health site

http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/becoming-parents.html